Money saving ideas...errr rant.

I am blogging to write about my stress and worry. My messy life. I feel that I need an outlet at the moment.

You know those times when you just need to vent to a person and have them listen? I had that kind of day today, except I couldn't get anyone to simply listen; it was either the person would offer some generic advice like "it will pass" or "I'm here for you...blah blah". 

Ok now I sound ungrateful. I'm definitely not, and I love all my friends and family who say those things just the same. But sometimes, I just need listening and no advice. 

I found out today the balance I owe on my student loans and basically felt depleted. Because I am, monetarily. I began to think about how I could never have children with James because of my fears of raising children without being able to afford them. As a child, my parents struggled with money and I was in constant fear for them and our family. I never want this for our children. 

Let me explain to you that I am the type of person who DREADS with a passion checking their bank account balance. I'm pretty sure I live in fear of numbers. Ridiculous. Paying my car payment each month keeps me up at night, and even the thought of making a GIGANTIC payment to my student loans kills me a little bit. LOANS, not loan. ugh. Note to self, teach kids (if you have them) to do better than self with money when in college/life/etc. 

 So I did what any logical person would do, I began to think of every possible way to get myself out of paying and every pay-it-back quickly method. Of course my ideas are limited, and rules and regulations still apply to me, unfortunately. I will post some of my ideas for fun.

1) cut back on everything, no fun allowed. 

2) work like a crazy person 

3) win the lottery (pretty sure my odds of paying back my loans in full has better odds)

4) Find a career (maybe this IS crazy with an undergrad degree?)

5) sell my car and anything of value, yard sale!

6) get crafty with whatever I have laying around and sell it on etsy. scratch that when you realize you have to pay the site to sell things. 

7) pray for a miracle

8) Buy and resell items...ummm

Basically my only realistic idea seems super unrealistic and not fun. My idea is to get a job that pays at least $30,000 per year; pay back $20,000 per year or more and survive off of James' income until everything is payed off. Doable, yet not satisfying. This basically means a commitment of no fun, no road trips, no buying of new or used things, and working to live for later. Okay, I could probably pray for a miracle but I always want to control my situations with my ideas, right now. I need to learn some patience, self-control, and trust.

Lesson of life thus far; life is hard, and there has to be balance. And balance starts with allowing Jesus into all parts of my life. 

Speaking of Jesus. He's pretty good at listening, providing, caring, and offering lots of love and grace. Jesus, please deliver me of this worry, and later of my debt. Please provide me with a job that is sufficient enough. 

Cast your cares on the Lord
    and he will sustain you; 
he will never let
    the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22

What does it even mean to sustain a person? 

Sustain:

verb (used with object)

1.

to support, hold, or bear up from below; bear the weight of,as a structure.

2.

to bear (a burden, charge, etc.).

3.

to undergo, experience, or suffer (injury, loss, etc.); endurewithout giving way or yielding.

4.

to keep (a person, the mind, the spirits, etc.) from givingway, as under trial or affliction.

5.

to keep up or keep going, as an action or process: to sustaina conversation.

Thank you, online dictionary. Wow, Jesus you are willing to do this, for me? Incredible. 

or how about this one?

Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

He CARES for you. Unlike those debt collectors. 

memory lane...

Lately, I have been remembering a lot of details of my life that I had forgotten. I noticed that when I met James, memories started pouring out. I think this is a sign that I feel completely comfortable sharing my entire heart with him. James has brought me so much healing since I've met him, and honestly I do not believe I could have gotten through the last two years without him.

Here is funny memory I thought of the other day!
Ok so 7th grade I wanted my hair to look like Bernadette Peters'(see below).

I am not even sure that it is possible to perm a persons hair and have results that look close to her hair. All I could do was dream of having this wonderful, bouncy, curly hair. Why? I have no clue!! My hair is nothing like Bernadette's hair-it's pretty much the opposite. Long, blonde, and naturally pretty straight.
 So my mom living her teenaged years in the 80's said she would do the perm for me. We took a trip to Sally's beauty supply and we purchased this apple scented permanent, and these special curlers that would give me the perfect Bernadette spiral curls.
Half way through the process(as in half my head), my mom realized that the apple scented permanent was almost gone! My mom was pretty positive and thought it would be fine and she continued to use the remaining portion on the other side.
 You can imagine the results...half my head was permed and the other half was kind of frizzy with a couple defined "waves". I was mortified! I could not start 7th grade looking like I had stuck my finger in a light socket. I believe my mom and I tried one more perm on my head with those curlers but it just made the already curly side curlier and the wavy/frizzy side more wavy.
So I began the 7th grade not with perfect ringlet curls I wanted, but wavy/curly hair that I ended up wearing in a ponytail most days.

Seeing God at work puts a song in our heart.

"Who is like You, O Lord, among the gods? Who is like You, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?" Exodus 14:26-27

"When something good happens, the Lord deserves the credit, for He is the source of all that is good. Give Him the glory. " Our Daily Bread.

"What may seem like coincidence as we live out our story is God at work behind the scenes-so give Him all the glory." Sper.

Wow, God is giving me a wedding.
It's crazy how God can use others to do His work. He has asked the Eagle Ridge community to step in and grant James and I this amazing opportunity of a completely paid for wedding. http://www.spokaneelite.com/salon/2011/01/elite-wedding-winners/#more-234
But why? Why does He do such miraculous things? And for me??

"Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders," Jesus told him, "you will never believe." John 4:48 

God is giving me the opportunity to be a witness for His kingdom through this. James and I will be able to "demonstrate" through video what our love is, not only for each other but for Jesus! James and I realize what a huge responsibility this is-and it's almost a mission right here at home. A mission to show people our relationship in a real and pure way <3

Happy Sunday

www.shopruche.com
I'm really loving this dress and at 42$, it's hard to pass up!
I'm thinking bridesmaids however, a couple mentioned the color-
do I want beige dresses?
Maybe I'll just buy it for myself and see!

I really enjoy how this appears old-fashioned

I love this girls bangs.

Wedding inspirations...colors and patterns!

These are all photos I've found using google. I've been trying to nail down exactly what kind of colors I want in our wedding. Picking out the exact tiffany blue, amber yellow, and grey purple isn't as easy as I thought :)

I'm loving this entirely and completely :)

Earl Grey cupcakes! Totes cute!

I love this soft blue/grey 

mellow-yellow!

L.O.V.E everything about this. The crisp whites and black accents and with hints of powder pink!

what a beauty

Pretty sure James would love this

tiffany blue invitations, lovely.

I love this wallpaper, and color.

Cute, soft yellow.

Just a reminder for myself....

Followed by another HUGE reminder.

I'm excited to be planning a wedding, stoked to be in school, and grateful for my job and in/and LOVE(d) by Jesus and James! Wow!

Helping women in Spokane!

"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me-everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9.

I feel like the passion in my heart currently is to help women stuck in addiction, domestic violence, and primarily someday I would like to help those in prostitution. Right now I am working for the Isabella House as a support staff member and I really enjoy it. 

I decided to google "helping women in Spokane" to see where it would take me.

I found many resources for women, which made me super excited! 

Transitions:

http://www.help4women.org/

Women helping women fund:

http://www.whwfspokane.org/

Christ kitchen:

http://www.christkitchen.org/

Women and children's free restaurant:

http://www.wcfrspokane.org/

YWCA:

http://www.ywca.org/site/pp.asp?c=cjITI8PHKoG&b=245242

Catholic Charities:

http://www.catholiccharitiesspokane.org/?page=18

 

Dress for Success Spokane

http://www.dressforsuccess.org/affiliate.aspx?pageid=1&sisid=219

There are so many more, but I thought I'd post just a few that were so easily accessible. 

Remarkable Secrets

It is always a delight to receive an invitation from someone whose company we enjoy. Certainly we have been invited by God to know Him, to experience Him, and to be a part of His plan. To refuse such a request seems unthinkable. The eternal, majestic God of the Univerise wants to converse with me--how can I say no?

Yet, I find myself decling God's invitation. Why? Because I am selfish; I am lured away by my own desires. I do not seek His Kingdom first; I do not seek His face. I allow myself to be distracted. I am too busy.

The Lord says, however, that I do not have to live this way. I can change. He has extended to me a wonderful call. He has given me His Spirit to enable me to accept His invitation. I can choose to enter into His secret chamber; I can choose to spend time with friends interceding for what God lays on our hearts and for what will bring Him glory.

I want God's very best. I want to know Him, and I want to see Him act. 

"Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come." Jeremiah 33:3

How tragic to miss out on any of God's remarkable secrets because I never took enough time to answer His call.

-Cynthia Heald

It's funny how after rejecting my bible for so long I stumble upon this.  God can make Himself heard, yet He desires a hearer reaching out to Him. Thus the command to “call to me!” God seeks to speak to an upturned face not a preoccupied back. 

John 13

When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Right. 

Sometimes I forget that Jesus has already paid my price and I am here to do his work-  not complain about the work/life He has given me because He already told me it wouldn't be easy.  But I get to walk through it with the most understanding counselor of all. 

Worry is like a rocking chair, it is always in motion, but not going anywhere.

Whiskey flowers sway like a breath,
in the woods of our freedom they’ve stood to the test.
But you’ve fought a long time; some think it’s been too long.
But I dread this day ahead, oh I dread this day ahead.


I wouldn’t talk to you; you sat there wanting me to.
I wouldn’t listen to you, you dreamt I’d hear the truth.


The birds sing in a glorious fashion,
I move slow and talk fast as if to avoid what will happen.
But I’ve fought a long time, maybe it’s been too long.
Cause I dread this day ahead, oh I dread this day ahead.
Give me your tired, your poor. Your huddled masses.

Here are some photo's my best friend Nicole took when James and I announced our engagement at church.

I edited them and made them into a collage on photobucket!

James' family brought that super sweet cake and precious cake topper.

                      .happiness.                                 

Oh, happiness there is grace enough for us.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
I felt so brokenhearted and angry 6 months ago on my birthday. I am still putting piles and piles of letters, pictures, presents, and loose ends away that it's hard to forget and move on. I am at a standstill. Time has gone by so quickly and sometimes that is the only remedy. But when things go by so quickly and it seems that everyone has gone back to normal it's harder to move on and forget. I once heard someone talk about forgiveness . We can forgive each other but it's hard to forget because that memory will forever be there. 
Why search for love that was so far away and out of sight? I realized my search for love should have been in our heavenly Father alone. 
So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned to the one who gave it all. 


God tells us, A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps Proverbs 1:33
I know it is wise to have goals in mind, but for now I will take one day at a time. I have so many new adventures awaiting me soon: a wedding, a marriage, school, a degree, new job, new family members. I am going to try to focus my attention on the unconditional and unchanging love that has always been there for me :) 

here is a special message from James and Ashley..

Dear family and friends,

If you are getting this, you are very important to us!

I have exciting news! On May 19th, we were engaged. James took Ashley on a planned treasure hunt  (aka, we went geocaching) in Coeur d'Alene Idaho. We had perfect weather, a great view, and a wonderful time. It was pretty much magical.

here is a link with a picture of the view :)

http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_details.aspx?guid=533b1c0b-0699-4a3a-8136-a30b2088690c

James hid a personalized cache box with a message-in-a-bottle inside! The message was a poem he wrote, and the last line read "A question comes, sweet, soft, and still...I hope the answer is- I will". Ashley was completely oblivious to what was going on, especially when James awkwardly got on one knee...Ashley asked "what are you doing?" and then the next thing she knew James was proposing!  She said YES!

We still do not know about wedding details but we plan to wait at least a year before our wedding. Any questions, suggestions or warm wishes are totally welcome!

We thank you for taking the time to read this and we hope you know we love and care about you all :D

God bless,

James and Ashley <3

"But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness."

James 3:17-18

New Beginnings :-)

"God's light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come into the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants." John 3: 19-21

Amen. If people only knew what their hearts truly ached for. Not the drugs, alcohol, boyfriends, girlfriends, money...or any temporary high.  But a personal relationship with our Saviour Jesus Christ. 

I started a new job recently. At the Isabella House in Browne's Addition. I prayed God would place me in a new place where I can be helping women and that is exactly what he did! I loved my coffee job; but it was time for a new beginning. 

"Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise"

Thank you Jesus, you know my heart so well.

I soon will be able to register for fall classes at Eastern, woohoo! I can not wait to be back in school.

Last week Joyce Meyer put on a free conference in Spokane, I was lucky to be able to attend 2 nights! The topics were mostly about trials and getting through them. She is awesome; she has a very simple way of explaining Jesus that just opens your eyes to what you have been missing. One of my favorite things she talked about was a person's testimony. She mentioned that we often forget what that word even means. The first part of the word signifies the tests Jesus puts in our own personal lives as a challenge to overcome. Without the test there would be no testimony...just the monies :)

Busy week

I did so much this last week. I saw two plays, Steel Magnolias(amazing) and Romeo and Juliet. Both were pretty good but Steel Magnolias won my heart. It was about these sweet women who met together during their hair appointments and talked about the ups and downs of their lives. It was hilarious; I haven't laughed that much for a while. 


I worked a lot, luckily I started back at my nanny job which has been a true blessing. It was really nice to be back there around those two kids, they make me smile. Hands down, my new favorite thing to do with them is go roller-skating! Both had birthdays within the last month so they are each a year older! I also was offered one day at my coffee job, woot. 


I had a few days off where I was able to relax and spend time with James and his family. But the best time I had was when I took James, Ryan, and Joel with me to the skating rink for round two. We totally went while the 13-16 year olds were there on Saturday night and it was packed. So much rap, big hair, and tight pants...sounds like the 80s but let me reassure you that is what is hot right now. It was fun to remember the old days by skating away holding hands with James. And, I wasn't even that bad at skating!